Eren x Reader: Momentary Release

Most people in the Recon Corps had their own methods of coping. Some went out to train – feeling the need to take their frustration out on something. Some wanted to be alone. Some cried. And others distracted themselves with a hobby. You were one of these people. You would run off to your room to paint. You found that painting visions and pictures that originated deep within the recesses of your mind relaxing and a means of escape. You painted landscapes, sunsets, forests, and the things you had only heard about: oceans and beaches with different color shells littering the beach in an array of colors you rarely saw anymore, fields of flowers that were rows upon rows of colors with so much detail you could almost smell the sweet fragrance from staring at it too long, exotic birds with absurd looking features, wild eyes and plumes of feathers decorated in wild patterns. It was a good reminder of why you were fighting – to be able to see these things in person. You would often arrive in your room with your vision blurred with tears. It was then that you would set up an easel and grab your paints and paint and paint until you had to open your window to air out the fumes and your face, hands, and clothes were decorated with the world you had imagined. You had done this so much your room was decorated in pictures, serving as further inspiration. You’d wake up and stare at your favorite painting, a picture of purple-blue-gray mountains with a sunset just barely peeking over the gap between the two mounds. And there were birds, tiny silhouettes of birds flying over those mountains. You would follow them over those mountains one day. You would see the world without titans.

Eren was upset. Every unsuccessful mission beyond the walls was frustrating and infuriating and depressing for everyone. He was storming down the hall to his room when he passed by your room. Normally, you had the door closed. You preferred to not let the smell of paint drift into the other parts of the building. He had only glanced but did a double take when he saw the bright patches of color lining your walls. He poked his head in through the door, seeing you standing at your easel with your brush flitting across the canvas, painting what appeared to be large cat-like creature with orange fur, black stripes, and golden eyes. He remembered Armin telling him about a creature like that that he’d read about in a book. A tiger? Something like that. It stared back at him with intelligent eyes, exuding power in its crouched, ready to pounce stance as it peered through long stalk like plants. He couldn’t remember what they were called. He just knew there were forests of it in certain parts of the earth and that it was easy to get lost in. He watched you. You hadn’t even noticed his presence. He stood there for another ten minutes or so before you finished. You stood back to admire your work.

“It looks amazing,” Eren finally said. You jumped. How long had he been there?

“T-thank you,” you said with a smile. Eren took another step into your room, looking around at the different paintings.

“You made all of these?” he said as he marveled at some of your work.

“Yes. It helps me forget for a little while, you know?” you said as you set aside your tiger to dry.

“Forget? Why would you want to forget? I know losing people we care for is hard, but I remember so I don’t forget who I’m fighting for – so they don’t die in vain. You should never forget because what are you out there risking your life for if not for a future for others and to ensure those who fell fighting don’t die for nothing?” He eyes shone as he spoke, and in them you found your inspiration for your next painting. You memorized his features.

“You’re right. It’s just momentary release.” You began to set up for another painting.

“May I watch?” You looked at him surprised. You hadn’t expected him to take an interest in watching you work.

“That’s fine.” You both talked while he watched you mix paints together for ten minutes before you found a shade of green that suited your standards. Then you covered the entire canvas with it and set it aside.

“That’s it?” Eren asked.

“It’s more than you think. It’s you,” you said while smiling at the painting fondly. His brow furrowed in confusion. You giggled. “It’s the color of your eyes, but in them I see passion and determination, sadness and anger, love and hate. It’s beautiful but overpowering,” you said with your eyes sparkling. Eren didn’t see any of that.

He returned to you every time you were painting. He would sit on your bed and watch you paint, content with the calm the environment provided and finding a moment of relief in it. The two of you would talk, but other times he was content with just watching you paint, getting lost in your work. At some point he understood what you meant when you saw different things in a single color.

“Can I try?” The question took you by surprise, but you smiled, happy he was taking an interest in it.

“Sure.” He stood at the canvas, holding the palette of colors as he had seen you do so many times over the past few months. He painted several different colors on the canvas until it was full, bright and vibrant with several colors clashing and contrasting and only serving to emphasize each other to the point that it was overwhelming to stare at for extended periods of time. Then he did something unexpected. He covered it all in a thin layer of __e/c__. The colors beneath still popped off of the page with their sharp presence but now it was as if they were contained in a way. Then he set it aside to dry.

“What does it mean?” you asked as you watched him stare at it somewhat proudly.

“It’s you,” he stated. You tilted your head slightly. “The colors represent all the things I see in you: passion, love, lust for life, happiness, hope, faith, and joy, but also sadness, grief, the tears shed for the lost, the anger at your feelings of helplessness and loss. It feels like the embodiment of you. Everything I see in you when you paint, all the little emotions that shine in your eyes,” he said as he got close to you and let his finger trail beneath your widened eyes.

“Eren…,” you said barely above a whisper. He pressed his lips to yours in a kiss – another way to
show those emotions hidden in your eyes.